Sunday, December 2, 2012

The Walk With Loopy Lola

It's a well known fact I don't like to take walks. There is this little issue about being afraid of concrete, wind and grass. Only God knows what I would do if I had to walk through leaves. If it isn't a wooden deck I want no part of it. Of course there is always the possibility of rain, I don't know how that works so as far as I am concerned it could come at any time. Mom says if one raindrop falls on my head I start screaming like the Antichrist being hit with holy water. She is right and keeps telling me as long as steam isn't coming off my head then all is good. I don't believe her, rain is just pure evil. But Lola in her infinite stupidity loves walks but because she has been sick for the last year and the risk of her stepping on something and getting cut or brushing up against something and getting scratched causing her to bleed to death before we could get help for her the doctor banned her walks. I prefer to tell people she was on house arrest, it just fits her better. Finally she is showing some clotting so the dr said she could resume her walks again. I see no reason this should affect me, I am perfectly happy to stay home on the couch and watching my beloved weather channel or TV Land, God how I love Roseanne, she reminds me of Mom.

But Mom decided I needed to go to. It took me about 2 seconds to assert the fact that I had no intention of walking on that concrete or in the grass so I got to be carried. Now that's the only kind of walk I ever intend to participate in. Loopy Lola on the other hand took off like a bandit. Who knows with her though, she might have been on the run, there was a car next to ours with the door open and it's owner with his back turned, she very well could have stolen something. It's her thing.

She was so glad to be back outside walking again that she acted like a total idiot,  I mean worse than her normal idiot status. She ran, she jumped, she found a pile of leaves she had to run back and forth through about a hundred times. I was so embarrassed I just tucked myself further down in the bag so no one could see I was there and I sure didn't want them to figure out she is my sister. Sometimes I still shudder when I have to say that. Mom assures me it will go away someday when Lola decides to grow up and be a normal non stealing pug. I have serious doubts because she also told me I was going to love that adorable little fur ball she was bringing  home two years ago and that still hasn't happened. Anyway I was doing fairly good hiding in my bag until I hear Mom and Lola's Boy laughing. Being a chihuahua I HAVE to know everything that is going on so I carefully stuck the top of my head up to look. The silly thing had gotten so excited she ran head first into a fence. Now what you may not know about The Bulldozer is she is a head butter, if she can't go around something it never occurs to her to at least try to climb it, nope, not her she lowers her head, grunts like a bull and tries to go right through it. It took the silly thing three tries before she realized she couldn't knock that fence down.

Then the real horror happened. A soccer game in progress. Lola took off for the field as fast as she could run, which unfortunately for Her Boy is faster than him. He was in hot pursuit but never got close enough to grab her. So the game has to be stopped because the evil girl took control of the ball and wasn't going to give it up until she was finally wrangled and forced to. Everyone is laughing, then everyone has to fawn over her because she did such a "cute" thing. I was mortified and buried deeper in the bag, no one even guessed I was in there.

On the way home we got to stop at Mickey Dee's and get cheesy burger's, since I am such a dainty eater I didn't get two bites down before Heifer Lola ate all hers, grabbed mine and ate it too. So Mom bought me another one and waited until we got home to put me in my crate so I could enjoy it. I do love a good cheesy burger!

Walk with Lola again? NEVER!!!!

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