Sunday, December 2, 2012

The Walk With Loopy Lola

It's a well known fact I don't like to take walks. There is this little issue about being afraid of concrete, wind and grass. Only God knows what I would do if I had to walk through leaves. If it isn't a wooden deck I want no part of it. Of course there is always the possibility of rain, I don't know how that works so as far as I am concerned it could come at any time. Mom says if one raindrop falls on my head I start screaming like the Antichrist being hit with holy water. She is right and keeps telling me as long as steam isn't coming off my head then all is good. I don't believe her, rain is just pure evil. But Lola in her infinite stupidity loves walks but because she has been sick for the last year and the risk of her stepping on something and getting cut or brushing up against something and getting scratched causing her to bleed to death before we could get help for her the doctor banned her walks. I prefer to tell people she was on house arrest, it just fits her better. Finally she is showing some clotting so the dr said she could resume her walks again. I see no reason this should affect me, I am perfectly happy to stay home on the couch and watching my beloved weather channel or TV Land, God how I love Roseanne, she reminds me of Mom.

But Mom decided I needed to go to. It took me about 2 seconds to assert the fact that I had no intention of walking on that concrete or in the grass so I got to be carried. Now that's the only kind of walk I ever intend to participate in. Loopy Lola on the other hand took off like a bandit. Who knows with her though, she might have been on the run, there was a car next to ours with the door open and it's owner with his back turned, she very well could have stolen something. It's her thing.

She was so glad to be back outside walking again that she acted like a total idiot,  I mean worse than her normal idiot status. She ran, she jumped, she found a pile of leaves she had to run back and forth through about a hundred times. I was so embarrassed I just tucked myself further down in the bag so no one could see I was there and I sure didn't want them to figure out she is my sister. Sometimes I still shudder when I have to say that. Mom assures me it will go away someday when Lola decides to grow up and be a normal non stealing pug. I have serious doubts because she also told me I was going to love that adorable little fur ball she was bringing  home two years ago and that still hasn't happened. Anyway I was doing fairly good hiding in my bag until I hear Mom and Lola's Boy laughing. Being a chihuahua I HAVE to know everything that is going on so I carefully stuck the top of my head up to look. The silly thing had gotten so excited she ran head first into a fence. Now what you may not know about The Bulldozer is she is a head butter, if she can't go around something it never occurs to her to at least try to climb it, nope, not her she lowers her head, grunts like a bull and tries to go right through it. It took the silly thing three tries before she realized she couldn't knock that fence down.

Then the real horror happened. A soccer game in progress. Lola took off for the field as fast as she could run, which unfortunately for Her Boy is faster than him. He was in hot pursuit but never got close enough to grab her. So the game has to be stopped because the evil girl took control of the ball and wasn't going to give it up until she was finally wrangled and forced to. Everyone is laughing, then everyone has to fawn over her because she did such a "cute" thing. I was mortified and buried deeper in the bag, no one even guessed I was in there.

On the way home we got to stop at Mickey Dee's and get cheesy burger's, since I am such a dainty eater I didn't get two bites down before Heifer Lola ate all hers, grabbed mine and ate it too. So Mom bought me another one and waited until we got home to put me in my crate so I could enjoy it. I do love a good cheesy burger!

Walk with Lola again? NEVER!!!!

Monday, October 29, 2012

Me and Honey Boo Boo

First, let me apologize for my Mom's not posting, it's been pretty rough around here with Lola's last treatment failing and sending her back to the hospital, Mom being in such a funk over Thanksgiving and Christmas and then Mom got sick, only this time really sick. She has been in and out of the hospital and when she's been home she has tried to get on the pc but just doesn't feel like it. So she is way behind in reading blogs and posting blogs.

Second, I want it to be know that in no way do I like or want this creature around. But damn sometimes even I get bored and in this house it doesn't matter where you look that big smushed in mug is going to be there. I swear she doesn't run, she doesn't walk, she just "appears". Everywhere. So for entertainment purposes only I am forced to play with the little piggy.

I can dominate when I want too

Look at her, she thinks she has me now, obviously she is not familiar with my Ninja moves.

One of many Ninja moves I can whip out on the girl.

Almost got her...

Time for the piggy's daily tooth and fold cleaning, left alone she will not take care of her own hygiene so I feel it is my duty to do it for her.

She wanted to return the favor and clean my face. Have you seen that tongue? I would drown with one lick. No way Honey Boo Boo, I will wash my own face!

Is she serious? Just look at the size of that mouth, it rivals the Grand Canyon. What if I fell in there? Mom would never find me.

Action Shot!

Monday, August 27, 2012

I Love You, Man!

Ok, I think you all know that Mom has drug in another stray, only this one is different. I love him! He is a red MinPin and from the minute he walked in this house we have been best buds. His name is Bentley, Mom doesn't know why she named him that, she said it was the first thing that came to mind and he answers to it so all is good.
Mom tried her best to find his owners, she went door to door, put up adds, listed him on several web sites and the Human Society. No one claims him. The vet said he wasn't chipped and is full blooded, he is very healthy so he is now ours. At first she said he would only be staying until she found him a home but he is such a sweetheart that she now wants to keep him. I haven't had to the heart to tell him about the big neuter surgery he is soon facing. I'll just love him through it afterwards and swear to him I knew nothing about it before hand. Sometimes a white lie is better than the truth. So anyway, here is is his picture:

Meet Bentley Chance (because he is a rescue and is getting a second chance)

We like to snuggle and sleep together, kinda makes me want to tell Lola to "Bite this Big Girl, I got a new buddy and don't need your flat face!"

So when Lola first saw him she thought she wanted to eat him even more than she wants to eat me, he quickly put that girl in her place. Yep, growled and dropped her butt to the ground, showed her who was boss. Basically he de-throned her and her power. She doesn't even try to mess with him now and last night they played together. I don't trust the girl, I know her sneaky game, she is trying to take my new BFF from me, won't happen we have bonded so closely that if Mom picks me up to give me medicine or carries me into another room he cries until she brings me back to him. He loves me.

So take this Lola!

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Still Hope

OK, Mom has to take Lola in for some kind of something that they didn't tell her about in the beginning of these treatments. Now this is sad news for Lola and hard news for Mom, but for me, it's hope. Hope that this time they will keep the girl. Feed her to the cows she is so fond of, turn her out to pasture like they do old horses, better yet send her to the glue factory. They do make Pug Glue, don't they? Something, anything to keep her away from me. Want to see how she stalks me? I have it on film, let the heifer deny it now! I think it will hold up in court.

I am on the other side of that door, in mine and Mom's bedroom, she is waiting for a chance to eat me.

Just look at her, she acts like she has nothing to do but wait for me, all day. Can't she go look out a window or something, lot's of dogs out there for her to look at.

God forbid, I made the mistake of coming close to the door and Sherlock here hears me breathing.

Yes, that is Mom's knee, on the toilet, Lola thinks she is incapable of going on her own, like she is her personal laxative or something. I'm telling you that dog is not normal, skewed in the brain.

She can't hear me anymore so she is going to wait until she can.

Now she is thinking Mom is going to help her out and open the door so she can have me for lunch.

Very disappointed in Mom for not helping her out, probably sad too that Mom is getting off the toilet and she sees her chance for getting me slipping away.

Lazy day today (and every other day), storms, wind and rain. Gives me an excuse and no one makes fun of me for doing what I do best which is sleeping. 

Catchin' me some zzzzzzzz's

Then THIS always happens, some idiot, which is usually Mom, comes along and ruins your plans for the day.

I tried begging to get her to leave.

So I said a little prayer for her rudeness

Finally God heard me and sent her away, probably to play with the hell hound known as Lola.

Monday, July 30, 2012

Well She Brought Her Back

Every time I think that girl is gone for good, Mom goes and drags her back in the house again. I had a couple good days all to myself, well I was still glued to Mom:

That is Mom under the comforter we keep on the sofa.

You never know when it might hit her what Lola really is and she makes a break and runs, so I stay close.

If she goes, I go. Enough said.

I heard Lola kicked up quite the fuss at the hospital and Mom had to get out in the middle of the night, OK so I exaggerated a little, it was early, early morning, around 4:30 am to go get her. I stayed home, it was bad enough Mom went in lime green pajamas with monkeys all over them but then to have to walk in where Lola was doing her pug screaming would have just been too much. I, unlike others in my family do have some dignity. 

Well except for this one habit I have that Mom caught on film. So what? I like to suck on my rubber dog! I'm sure I'm not the only dog in the world that puts themselves to sleep by sucking on a rubber dog, there are probably clans of them in small pockets all over the US and the UK. Someday you're going to see us on the TV show Taboo.

I like to start by pretending I am playing with it, this throws people off.

Then when I think no one is looking I start to gently suck on what's left of it's ear. Most of the ear met an untimely death months ago.

Sometimes for variation I like to drag it out of the bed and give it a wee chew before I get down to some serious sucking.

Now I am sleepy so back to the bed I go and settle down to some serious sucking, Mom says I make awful noises while I am doing this, she's probably lying about that. I mean come on who is going to believe a woman that showed up at the vet in lime green flannel pj's with monkeys on them? Not I!

Friday, June 29, 2012

Goodbye Tuni!

We lost another wonderful pug, yeah, she didn't have ears that stood up or a sharp nose like us Chihuahua's but let me tell you that Miss Tuni was a wonderful and wise ole' gal and I'm going to miss her!

Friday, June 8, 2012

Goodbye Hank! I'm Going To Miss You Buddy!

I lost a good friend today and I will miss him dearly. He was a war hero you know, yep, he served in Nam, told us all about it. So here is my tribute to such a wonderful hero.

No war hero leaves without a 21 gun salute!